Culture War

There may not be a more accurate phrase coined to describe our current civil conflicts than “culture war.” Because at the base of what we are experiencing is a backlash to significant changes in the culture–the hysterical reaction of White “Christian” folks–mostly but not exclusively male–to the growing participation of women, non-Christians and non-Whites in American society.

There’s some interesting research that suggest that culture will inevitably triumph over reaction–that efforts to return society to previous cultural norms (MAGA’s basic thrust) do not succeed in the long run.

What brought that research to mind was my recent experience in the Emergency Room (number #3, don’t ask–but I’m fine). During that visit, every doctor I interacted with (and there were four of them) was a woman, and every nurse who came to drink my blood and/or take my vitals was a male.

Those doctors are highly unlikely to discard their professions for a “trad wife” existence.

It isn’t just women. Rates of intermarriage between people of different races and religions have soared. Same-sex marriage has largely been normalized. I think of a woman who approached me after I’d given a talk at her church on anti-Semitism; she explained she was concerned about its growth because she had Jewish grandchildren.

These days, lots of nice White Christian Americans have grandchildren who are Black or Brown, Jewish or Muslim. Significant numbers of American families are “mixed” in one way or another. Even in small towns, more traditional families have come to know and work with immigrants of varying backgrounds, and are angrily objecting to ICE kidnappings.

In short, American culture has changed, and most of those changes are both positive and irrevocable. We are now engaged in an effort to protect those changes–an effort which requires us to protect democracy and the American Idea that made them possible.

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Born That Way

There is a relatively recent internet site called “Upworthy,” that culls videos from around the web that the site’s managers deem worthy of a wider audience (they’r “UpWorthy”) and promotes them. This morning, I saw one of them–a clip from comedian Wanda Sykes in which she explains why it is more difficult to be gay than to be black (she’s both). After all, she didn’t have to “come out” as black. I encourage you to click through and watch this 2 minute performance; Sykes is a gifted comic, and it is pretty funny.

The bit reminded me of an epiphany of sorts. When I was Director of the Indiana ACLU, I hosted a small fundraising dinner at my home for our Project for Equal Rights. We used that euphemism for Gay Rights, because it was the mid-1990s, and this is Indiana. At any rate, the guest of honor was the then-head of the ACLU’s national gay rights project, Bill Rubenstein. Something he said during that dinner  has remained with me ever since.

Gay kids have no role models.

Virtually every minority group teaches its children how to “be” what they are; Jewish parents model “Jewishness,” Hispanic parents are a bridge to the cultures from which they came, etc. But gay children are born to heterosexual parents–and most often, to parents who have no experience with gays or gay life. Each child who grows to realize that he or she is “different” has to figure out how to understand that difference, and how to live a rewarding and authentic life–without the help of a parental role model, and often despite parental rejection of that difference.

That’s a heavy burden. The least we can do as a society is not add to it.

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