Memory Lane Is Gendered

My husband and I were kibitzing with Bill Brooks a few days ago. Bill was previously the editor of several small-town newspapers in Indiana, and in semi-retirement, he publishes the Urban Times, an outgrowth of several urban neighborhood newsletters. He mentioned that he’s planning to run a feature with answers to a question he intends to put to readers who are long-time residents of the city: What do you miss about Indianapolis that was once here but is now gone?

My husband (whose memory for such things is much better than mine) immediately responded by naming a couple of bygone festivals and civic celebrations. I was unable to come up with anything I truly miss, and later in the day, I brooded a bit about that inability. Granted, I tend to live in the present–but then I also realized that my lack of nostalgia is significantly attached to my gender.

To be blunt, it’s a lot easier being female today than it used to be–in Indianapolis and elsewhere. Not perfect–that “glass ceiling” may be cracked, but it’s still there–but immensely improved. A few examples from my long-ago youth:

When I went to college, I wanted to major in liberal arts, but my father insisted that I get a teaching degree, because if my eventual husband died, I would need something to fall back on. At the time, educated women were secretaries, teachers or nurses; I couldn’t type and the sight of blood made me queasy. Ergo! I’d teach.

I began my adult work life as a high school English teacher. When I became pregnant with my first child, however, I could no longer teach—Even though I was married, those days, once women teachers or librarians “showed,” we could no longer be in the classroom.

I went to law school when I was 30 and had three small children. There were very few women in law school then, and my most important epiphany revolved around the need for potty parity, since the few women’s restrooms in the relatively new building had been included–and located– to accommodate the secretarial staff.

After graduating law school, I was the first female lawyer hired at one of Indianapolis’ then “big three” law firms. To give you a flavor of the times, serial interviews with prospective associates were conducted by several of the partners, and I was in conversation with two who were being very careful not to ask improper questions (this was barely ten years after creation of the EEOC). Since I had three children, I thought it reasonable to volunteer my childcare arrangements. One of the partners was so obviously relieved that I wasn’t acting like a bra-burning radical feminist, he blurted out: “It isn’t that there’s anything wrong with being a woman. We hired a man with a glass eye once!”

In 1977, Bill Hudnut asked me to take charge of the City’s legal department. I was the first woman to be Corporation Counsel in Indianapolis, and at the time, Indianapolis had two newspapers. The afternoon paper, the Indianapolis News, had a front-page “gossip” blurb.  I still recall its juicy little item after my appointment was announced: “What high-ranking city official appointed his most recent honey to a prominent position…” Apparently, it was inconceivable that I’d been appointed because I was a decent lawyer, or because I represented a constituency Bill was reaching out to.

I could spend all day adding to this litany, but the bottom line is: things are better for women now. Not perfect, but much, much better.

My female students–even those who didn’t consider themselves feminists–were appalled at suggestions that they should expect  to be offered lower pay than their male classmates for the same positions. My granddaughters are incredulous when I tell them these stories.

I’m sure that, with some thought, I’ll be able to answer Bill Brooks’ question–able to come up with the names of retail establishments or festivals or restaurants that I miss. (To  be honest, what I really miss is the naïveté and uncomplicated patriotism that was facilitated by what I now know was my very incomplete understanding of American history.)

Overall, however, I’ll take today. Given the lunacy and ferocity of the backlash–the furious efforts to roll back the changes that a lot of us celebrate– I do worry quite a lot about tomorrow.

25 Comments

  1. “Granted, I tend to live in the present–but then I also realized that my lack of nostalgia is significantly attached to my gender.”

    Sheila; I disagree that lack of nostalgia is significantly attached to “our” gender, I believe our memories of the past are far more intact than those of men. Bob may have mentioned a couple of bygone festivals and celebrations but your memories of that bit of gossip, “What high-ranking city official appointed his most recent honey to a prominent position…” as it related to you personally and women in general is vital to remember today. Those festivals and celebrations have been replaced by progress such as our “Pride Month” and the importance of repealing such regressive laws as Pence’s RFRA to strengthen support of separation of church and state.

    I miss the long-ago days when public schools were the only education system supported by the public education budget, which is still “on the books” in the Constitution of the State of Indiana, but long gone as we hold the national record for the most voucher students in the nation. Did Bill Hudnut appoint you as this city’s first Corporation Counsel only to reach out to the female voters or because, in his estimation, you were the best choice for the appointment? (Bill Hudnut even hired a few Democrats if they were the most qualified.) Having watched from my lowly position as support staff, beginning under Mayor Lugar’s heavily racist, sexist, nepotism, political patronage appointments and hiring throughout city government; qualification of city leadership was Mayor Hudnut’s greatest improvement to our government. Beginning in 1992 I then witnessed the almost total destruction of that system under Goldsmith as Indianapolis City Government became a microcosm of the Nixon administration.

    I also worry about tomorrow; but I will not live long enough to see how it will all turn out, it is our children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, et al, of all genders, races, ethnic origins, religions are targets of a political party hung up of returning us to the mid-20th Century minus civil and human rights.

  2. I was granted an interview for vet school at Purdue in 1968. The panel of white men, grizzled and old asked proper questions of this not seriously committed to a job, soon to be graduate of Purdue. The one question they asked left me speechless, unable to answer or retort to such a gender biased question. The question had to do with being married, me practicing vet medicine, and hubby,s job wanting to move him.
    What do I do with the practice.
    My mind burbled with all kinds of complexities to that question. Speechless, with no answers, I knew I was done, not that I really cared. I still ponder that question, it’s gender bias still annoys me.
    And I still smile at the thought of powerful white men apologizing on their death beds, for all that they did not do for equality. Just so these white men can get into heaven.

  3. I was granted an interview for vet school at Purdue in 1968. The panel of white men, grizzled and old asked proper questions of this not seriously committed to a job, soon to be graduate of Purdue. The one question they asked left me speechless, unable to answer or retort to such a gender biased question. The question had to do with being married, me practicing vet medicine, and hubby,s job wanting to move him.
    What do I do with the practice.
    My mind burbled with all kinds of complexities to that question. Speechless, with no answers, I knew I was done, not that I really cared. I still ponder that question, it’s gender bias still annoys me.
    And I still smile at the thought of powerful white men apologizing on their death beds, for all that they did not do for equality. Just so these white men can get into heaven.

  4. I miss the city of the 1950s and 60sm, Glendale with its numerous little shops, neighborhood movie theaters with Saturday cartoons and weekend nights showing a double feature plus cartoons. I long to go back to Northwood for their hamburgers on toast, or Tee Pee with its hamburger with the secret sauce. I miss the early version of the Talbott Street Art Fair before it was “Carmelized” into that ever so white commercial thing it is now. I miss going downtown to Ayres, or Blocks, or Wassons. I miss those days of yesteryear when people were treated like valued customers instead of cattle. I miss the city being quiet at night for the most part, not the symphony of sirens we experience today. I miss the newspapers. Even as I know now how terribly segregated Indianapolis was then and remains today, I miss large parts of that world.

  5. Professor-I vividly recall, verbatim, the juicy gossip column about you. It still pisses me off, because, I knew, first hand, how tough you could be, as one of my favorite high school teachers. I stand with you….it is better walking into businesses that are being guided by people other than aging old white guys. Thank you.

  6. Theresa; I miss all of those same things and places in my west side Riverside neighborhood. I miss downtown Indianapolis when it was a real downtown which offered anything and everything we needed or wanted. It was an exciting place and easily reached by city buses which provided public transportation in all neighborhoods.

  7. I graduated high school in ’67 and also saw my career choices limited to being a secretary, teacher or nurse. My parents didn’t finish high school, so they encouraged me to get a job right after graduation, so I pursued typing and shorthand (is that still a thing?!)

    Sheila, your essay this morning brings to mind a particular interview – After the two gentlemen asked several questions and I reiterated my qualifications, they stated…”I think you will work out, we don’t want any glamour girls.”

    Just a side note, in ’67, I started taking night classes at IUPUI. After raising 4 children and going back, I finally got my college degree in 2007!

  8. When I think of that question, the first thing that comes to my mind is Starlight Musicals. We got Joel Grey in “Cabaret” and Richard Kiley in “Man from La Mancha” to name just two of the many musicals that played there over the years. Sometimes the audience would have to dodge a thunderstorm, but it was worth it to see the stars who actually opened the shows on Broadway doing the summer circuit. It also reminds me of a time when Indy seemed to take pleasure in the arts. That was before they covered the genitals on public statues. It was an interesting counter play to the weapons on display north of the World War Memorial.

  9. Even though my high school and collegiate experience happened twenty years after yours, I still encountered many of the same obstacles. So, for some of us, we are not nostalgic for portions of the past. But I do miss the penguins at Glendale, the Ayers tea room, getting dressed up to go on a plane, a series of restaurants, and the Indianapolis Star (today’s version pales in comparison). Today, I’m a high school English teacher and proud of my choice, even though I insisted it would not ever be something I’d consider when my mother suggested changing my English literature major to education so I’d always have a job. After a different direction, I found a home of almost equity in my classroom.

  10. I miss the Dutch Oven on the south side. I miss the Chinese restaurants that were much better than the fast food small ones we see today. I miss Block’s and Lazarus. I don’t miss the Circle Theatre as it was in the 60’s. I love the amazing renovation of the Theatre where the symphony now plays. I do remember going there when I was 14 to see “The Sound of Music” with my mother. I remember Lafayette Square and Glendale as great shopping malls at one point.

    I became a nurse but quickly found I did not belong in med-surg but in psych nursing. I later became a substance use counselor. I am glad that women are now able to become doctors,lawyers, business leaders, our representatives in government. I do wish more progressive women were in our government especially our state government.

    Recently the Me Too movement made it clear that sexual harrassment and assault by men in power would no longer be tolerated.

    JD Ford is the Senator who represents me in the Indiana state legislature and he is openly gay.

    We have come a long way and yet there is still more to do and accomplish. I hope I see a woman POTUS before I die.

    Thanks Vernon for writing a book about a woman who defied the odds. We need male allies.

  11. Thanks for sharing the stories of being a female with a career back in “those days” and how it differs from today. I need to be told what it was like because I had the privilege of being a white male. It’s why I am really drawn to Zinn’s version of history, which tells the other side from various perspectives.

    It reminds me of the question, “How do you know what you don’t know?”

    I’m sure there are many professional female lawyers today who owe you a debt of gratitude for blazing that trail for them in Indy. I bet you never realized you had a machete in your hands whacking away at those tall weeds.

    Are you sure you weren’t a progressive? 😉

  12. If you are a woman, you could have the scientific genius of Einstein, the literary skills of Shakespeare, the athletic ability of Tom Brady, the organizational skills of FDR, or the empathy of Mother Theresa all wrapped up into one woman- You could Not be a Catholic Priest or Pope since only a man can be a priest or Pope. I suppose there are other religions that exclude women from positions of power.

  13. I well remember the Indianapolis of yesterday, the downtown market, Ayres Tea Room, the basement lunch room in the old Claypool Hotel on Washington Street, a hotel we used in urging delegates to vote for Bayh in 1962 at the Democratic convention. Those were the days, i. e., days when our differences with Republicans were about issues sans insult and insurrection.

    I came into the practice before the City-County Building was built and on occasion was chosen as a special judge and more often as a pro tem judge for Superior and the Circuit Court judges on what was called “divorce day,” the day uncontested divorces were granted in quick order. I distinctly recall as pro tem judge granting 17 divorces between 9:30 A.M. and noon on one of such occasions, for instance. Since the parties by counsel had agreed in writing to the terms of property division, custody of children and support, all that was left for hearing was proof of venue and a short statement setting forth the grounds of cruel and inhuman treatment, which we interpreted very liberally.

    In my heydey I officed in the Circle Tower Building and the City-County Building was the tallest building in the city. Things have changed.

  14. I remember so well the era that Ms. Kennedy speaks of. I remember our small NOW chapter marched in the snow and then entered the statehouse in support of the ERA. And we still don’t have it. It seemed like every day there was some little thing that had to be addressed if women were to actually be equal – like the assumption that a newly married women would no longer need credit cards and the man would be responsible for credit card bills – like the assumption the businesses had the right to ask if a woman was married when she was ordering via catalog – like the assumption that women needed their husband’s permission to take their own money out of a savings account – ho-hum, I could go on and on. It got so tiresome. Some of these policies weren’t anti-woman, they were just policies that had been in place for eons and nobody had thought to change them unless getting a poke in the butt. Unfortunately we’re not done yet.

  15. As a Southsider grown to legal age living by Garfield Park, I do remember the Tee Pee, Blocks, Ayres, and all the downtown excitement. Also driving as a youth with my parents to visit family member who resided north of Washington St., I recall experiencing the difference ways of living afforded them.

    My father disallowed me taking Biology at Manual, instead had me enroll in Typing and Shorthand so I could be able to earn a living….he and my Mother did not finish High School. I did and was the first in my Southside family to start college in 1960.

    As I watched many of my classmates marry and have babies in their late teens, I boarded an airplane and flew away to a career with an airline. During the ensuing 38 years I also lived a life of gendered stereotyping, as you might imagine. While working full time, I returned to school, and finished 17 years (sometimes full time, sometimes part time) of college education earning several degrees.

    And when I retired, the career path which supported my adulthood had changed names, and become a career for both genders. And many of the restrictions which had shadowed the women earlier had loosened thanks to males entering the profession, the Civil Rights Act, and several coworkers who had become attorneys (while still flying around the skies, and yet still not in the cockpits), and strong Union Leaders.

    Indiana has changed less in this regard toward females than many other states, however with the likes of Sheila, and many of the women on this blog, and others; more change may just be in the future of this Hoosier State.

  16. My nostalgia is intact, and I miss the good old stuff (when one middle class income could support the whole family and businesses felt real loyalty to local communities) but hate the bad old discrimination against racial and religious minorities, those with disabilities, women, LGBT folks, and immigrants. It seems progress involves a fair or unfair share trade-offs.

  17. Una, those fellows will apologize for nought, there being no heaven.
    In 1968, my g/f and I drove from NYC, to Albany,N.Y. for her to be interviewed for a job with the forestry service, or some such. I do not know what the qualifications were for entry level, but it apparently did not matter, at that time, in a gender way.
    I know a woman who was interviewed for a job with a N.Y. State legislator, back in the day. she was not appreciative of one of the job requirements: That she be “friendly” with some of the people with whom he dealt.

  18. How about Al Green’s Hamburger Drive-In on the East Side – Same day service.

  19. No Indianapolis memories, but there is a Facebook site of nostalgia for the “old neighborhood” in Detroit. It seems that more women post there than men.

    I remember a college game, “What’s your major?”, played by some men in the late ’60s and early ’70s. You came up to a co-ed and said “I bet I know your major”. If she was in a dress, she was an Education major; if she was in jeans, she was a psychology major. Almost always correct. I should note that my organic chemistry study partner was a she, and she has been a family practice physician for decades. Times were just beginning to change then.

  20. Thank you for this article, I’ll share it with my daughters who have it much easier. Even my generation (graduated high school in ‘76) had it much easier than yours, and watching Mrs. America helped me understand better what came before. I was lucky enough in ‘88 to be hired for a new job even though I was four months pregnant but I remember thinking that was a miracle, and probably only happened because the company was owned by another woman.
    On events/festivals that some people might miss, I had a revelation at some festival on the Monument Circle shortly after moving back home from Chicago where we’d lived five years, 3 in a Puerto Rican neighborhood. When we arrived, my husband and I couldn’t figure out why the crowd looked so wrong. Finally we realized it was a lack of diversity; everyone was black or white, but there were no Hispanic faces. Even though I’d grown up here, I couldn’t see this until I lived in a diverse city. That’s another thing about Indianapolis that I won’t miss.

  21. I hope many of you get back to read this. Have your kids, grandkids, great grandkids if they are old enough, watch “She’s Beautiful When She’s Angry” on Amazon (free with prime) Great documentary of 2nd wave Feminism with much video from the 50s, 60s and 70s, and interviews with many feminist activists!

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