It’s primary election time, boys and girls, and once again there’s a robust competition for the most intellectually dishonest political ad of the season.
I gotta tell you, this year’s competition has been tough! The Mourdock/Lugar contest has certainly given us some top contenders, and it has been really hard to decide which of the Dan Burton-wannabes running for the 5th congressional district is pandering most shamelessly to the cretins they evidently think are most likely to vote in the primary in that district.
But in the past few days, we’ve had a new entrant, and he has absolutely blown away the competition. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: Luke Messer.
Actually, that may be unfair; watching this spot, I have to assume that the real Luke Messer has been the victim of some alien body-snatcher. I can’t believe a real human would run what looks like a clumsy parody of a political pitch by someone from a galaxy far, far away.
The Messer figure in this ad (addressing people who evidently don’t know anything about how our government works–or these days, fails to work) says if we send him to Washington, he’ll “repeal Obamacare” “stop bailouts” and “balance the budget.” All by his little self, according to this spiel, which includes no suggestion that such tasks might require the cooperation of others.
Now–assuming this really is Mr. Messer and not a simulacrum–there are two possible explanations for this pitch: he’s a moron, or he thinks GOP primary voters are.
Either way, I’m declaring a winner! For political obtuseness, pomposity and sheer chutzpah on a scale not previously achieved, the award for most embarrassing candidate of the primary season, Indiana edition, goes to Luke Messer!
Stay tuned for the general election, when the Democrats will also compete.
And may God have mercy on us all…..