Academic types (I plead guilty) like to explain that reality is complicated and it isn’t always easy to determine just what causes have produced just what effects. When it comes to relatively complex policy issues, that’s (usually) true. But sometimes, we humans find ourselves in a situation that is far simpler to describe than the pundits and political scientists acknowledge.
Jason Linkins recently reminded us that there is a very simple explanation for why we are in an insane war in Iran.
What can be said about Trump’s war with Iran that isn’t already abundantly obvious? The answer: not much. It is not going well, and it probably won’t end well. But having spent time in the salt mines of Trump punditry, I can tell you that we’re going to endure a difficult round of think pieces purporting to explain How This Happened. So maybe this is the best time to assert the obvious, using my favored rubric of Trump analysis: Imagine if the dumbest person in the world and humanity’s biggest asshole were the same person, and that guy was president. Then imagine he started a war with Iran. Now check the news. One look, and here’s what you should be thinking: “Yep, that tracks.”
As with all of Trump’s presidential exploits, success is always constrained by two factors: The aforementioned sharp limitations of his intellectual capabilities and the fact that he is perpetually surrounded by an inner circle made up of clowns somewhere on the spectrum between “rampantly evil” and “thoroughgoing dipshit.”
Lnkins reminds us that the purported goals of this exercise shift with the days of the week–sometimes it’s regime change, sometimes a nuclear threat that knowledgeable folks discount…the story changes with the weather. (Like me, Linkins thinks the “wag the dog” thesis deserves consideration–the more we learn about the Epstein files, the more likely it becomes that full disclosure would confirm what most of us already believe about this sorry excuse for a human being.)
Whatever the actual motivation–and it sometimes seems as if both Trump and Hegseth confuse war with a video game–we’ve seen Trump ask for help from the allies he has consistently demeaned and threatened. Trump seems amazed that countries he has routinely spit on, countries upon which he has imposed shifting levels of punative tariffs, countries that are now facing the consequences of his third-grade understanding of how the world works–are now uninterested in saving his behind.
As Linkin notes, it is especially maddening (at least to sentient beings) to see the administration react to Iran’s clampdown of the Strait of Hormuz
as if it’s some unfair trick the Iranians pulled and not one of the most singularly obvious strategic choices the regime could make under the circumstances—the other being Iran’s decision to attack other Gulf states, knowing that it would be a pain point for the U.S. both economically and diplomatically. But by Trump’s own admission, the very fact that Iran retaliated in any way has caught him completely flat-footed. “They weren’t supposed to go after all these other countries in the Middle East,” he told reporters on Monday. “They hit Qatar, Saudi Arabia, UAE, Bahrain, Kuwait. Nobody expected that. We were shocked!” Right now, there are 13-year-old kids about to invade Kamchatka in their first-ever game of Risk that look like Carl von Clausewitz compared to Trump.
America may rid itself of this disaster of an administration. We may–may–reform some of the obvious structural flaws that got us here. (Curing the deep racism and White Christian nationalism of the MAGA cult is, unfortunately, less likely.) But the rest of the world will never again trust a United States that elevated so demonstrable a moron/asshole/lunatic to the Presidency. As Paul Krugman recently put it, Americans are now watching scenes from the death of Pax Americana.
At this point, we face a variety of consequences–all bad–including a not insignificant threat of worldwide economic disaster. And it will be our fault.
A few days ago, I had breakfast with a former colleague, who shared his fury with the people who he reminded me are ultimately to blame for the demise of American hegemony: the voters who supported a man who wasn’t simply obviously and clearly unqualified, but who was a convicted felon, an adjudicated rapist, a highly-likely pedophile, a demostrable ignoramus and a certifiable moron.
Actually, it’s a toss-up between those voters and the would-be free-riders who didn’t bother to cast ballots.
Somehow, “told you so” doesn’t seem satisfactory….
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